Who Cares?

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Who Cares? Vol. I, No. 1

by
Sean Holt

39 Dead, Zero Wounded

Perhaps the most talked about news story of last week was the suicides of the 39 members of the cult known as Heaven's Gate. Simply learning of this "tragedy" through the various media outlets wasn't enough, but we were subjected to in-depth interviews and analyses the entire week. It was the last straw when I received my People magazine this weekend, and the cover story was a feature on each one of the dearly departed. Finally, I threw up my hands and said "who cares?"

Seriously people, except for their families who must be wondering where they went wrong, (these people actually believed a spaceship was coming to take them away!) who cares about these 39 dead cult members? So California lost 39 fruits and nuts. There's plenty more where those came from! So 39 people decided to end their lives in a peaceful manner, by their own choice. They didn't force anyone into their cult, they took no children like Waco Dave Koresh, and they didn't kill any ATF agents. So what's the big deal? Let em go, I say!

And for those of you involved in similar cults who would take your own life for your leader I say this: When was the last time you kissed a girl? Let your hair down! Wake up and smell the Vodka! Use those barbiturates to get some sleep at night instead of staying up all night staring at Hale-Bopp. And throw those jars of applesauce out the window! For Do's sake, take control of your lives and free yourselves! And free us from the torture of another week of in-depth analyses and exclusive interviews. Until next time...

39 Dead, Zero Wounded | Ellen Degenerates | Death and Taxes | The "Drill" Instructor | Newt on the Dole

Please send all comments regarding Who Cares? to sean-holt@usa.net.


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