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Dorothy Jones's Home Page

Hi! I'm Dorothy Jones and I live and play in Washington D.C. where all our politicians also play. And Boy! Do they ever play!!! I like the whacky side of life, but not the weird. I believe life should be fun and happy. Try not to stress yourself out and not hold yourself responsible for everything that goes wrong. Life's too short to spend miserable. A good motto is forget "who's responsible for this!" and just get on with your life. If you can fix it with money, it's not a problem...even if you don't have it. Just for the record, I'm getting hit on a lot by gays and bisexuals. I'm not gay and I'm not bisexual. Please stop hitting on me. Now if you happen to be a straight male, late twenties, handsome, debonair, a real prince charming, currently not married...give it a shot. If we hit it off, I promise to get my teeth straightend, my eyes uncrossed, and that hairry mole removed from my nose. ; }

How to make a nausea tea:
If you have problems with nausea, this one is guaranteed to fix it. Try it and you will probably thank me. Use distilled water cause it's the emptiest: fill a pot with distilled water and throw in some cinnamon sticks (broken up of course), some nutmeg, cardamom, peppermint leaves, all spice and most important of all some ginger. You can buy the ginger root and cut off some tiny pieces of it and throw it in or just use your kitchen spices. Cloves are good also. Use any or all of the ingredients. If you don't have them all, don't worry about it. The ginger is the most important ingredient. The others work synergistically with it, meaning they enhance it to the second power. Sweeten with honey and lemon and it taste great and stops the queasies all at the same time.

The Spider and the Fly
This is one of my favorite poems. It is by Don Marquis from his book "The Adventures of Archy and Mehitabel". This book has been out of print for many years as it was written around the turn of the century. The verbage may seem out of date at times, but it's easy to see when you read it that things really don't change much. Since Archy is a cockroach and has to climb up ontop of a typewriter and splat down on the keys, he does not use capitalization or punctuation.

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"a spider and a fly". i heard a spider and a fly arguing wait said the fly do not eat me i serve a great purpose in the world you will have to show me said the spider i scurry around gutters and sewers and garbage cans said the fly and gather up the germs of typhoid influenza and pneumonia on my feet and wings then i carry these germs into the households of men and give them diseases all the people who have lived the right sort of life recover from the diseases and the old soaks who have weakened their systems with liquor and iniquity succumb it is my mission to help rid the world of these wicked persons i am a vessel of righteousness scattering seeds of justice and serving the noblest uses it is true said the spider that you are more useful in a plodding material sort of way than i am but i do not serve the utilitarian dieties i serve the gods of beauty look at the gossamer webs i weave they float in the sun like filaments of song if you get what i mean i do not work at anything i play all the time i am busy with the stuff of enchantment and the materials of fairyland my works transcend utility i am the artist a creator and a demi god it is ridicilous to suppose that i should be denied the food i need in order to continue to create beauty i tell you plainly mr fly it is all damned nonsense for that food to rear up on its hind legs and say it should not be eaten you have convinced me said the fly say no more and shutting all his eyes he prepared himself for dinner and yet he said i could have made out a case for myself too if i had had a better line of talk of course you could said the spider clutching a sirloin from him but the end would have been just the same if neither of us had spoken at all boss i am afraid that what the spider said is true and it gives me to think furiously upon the futility of literature archy

Two Silly Strings Joke
These two strings went into a bar, sat down, and ordered a martini. The bartender looked at them with disdain and informed them that they don't serve strings in their bar. So the two strings, dejected, went outside and started pulling the fibers loose at the end and went back in. They sat down at the bar and ordered Brandy Snifters. The bartender looked at them suspicously and said "Hey! You can't fool me with those do's! You're those same two silly strings. Get out!" This time they went out and tied themselves into knots, their little ends still flayed out and went back into the bar and order Mai Tai's. The bartender looked at them rather curiously and said "Aren't you those same two silly strings I just threw out of here?" To which the strings replied..."I'm a frayed knot!"

Just Neat Stuff
I visited this site and I really like it. They have everything! If it's neat, they've got it. They have the best price for herbs, essential oils, spices, aromatherapy, capsule makers. They also have books, movies, plays. I discovered a fantastic up and coming film maker on that site...Patrick Algermissen and ordered his independent film "The Other Side". What a kick! I also ordered his new play, Star Warz. He downloaded it to me directly over the net. This new Star Warz parody is of the movies that won't come out until this summer! That's a first!!! This young man has a clean, fresh approach to comedy.