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Welcome to the Official Residence of the Mayor of Bethesda Avenue. This site deals with a few of my favorite things, my views on the wearing of dogcollars by adult humans, and of course erotophilosophical frolic. Get some Miller High Life in this place and delve into my downward spiral of success.

The Mayoral Residence is undergoing renovation the week of 9/7, so check back for more texts and photos!

"Let us have a world of men and women with dynamos between their legs, a world of natural fury, of passion, action, drama, dreams, madness, a world that produces ecstasy and not dry farts."

Henry Miller, Tropic of Cancer, 1934

What Pushed Me Over The Edge And Onto the Web
The Gus, a resident of Charlottesville, Virginia, has what I consider to be the finest and weirdest online diary. He is also the compiler of the Big Fun Glossary. Once you have caught up on all of his past musings, it is but the work of a moment to check his daily addition to the ongoing chronicles of Monster Boy, Letitia the Brazilian Girl and other denizens of downtown Charlottesville. Plus there's the occasional spree of "tussin".

Asian-American Girls: The Good, The Evil & The One That Got Away
Although it is incidently the story of how I became the Mayor of Bethesda Avenue, primarily this is the story of my poorly executed fascination with DonutGirl, which builds to a dizzying and nauseating anticlimax before shriveling up altogether. Other characters include Hiroyo, Kerith, Xan (TinyDeathGirl), Kim Spurlock, and Evil Michelle. It all started when I was six years old and got buried inside the igloo with the Korean girls on Brite Drive in beautiful Bethesda, Maryland.

The Mayor's Dream Journal
Donut Doppelgänger
I had a good dream about DonutGirl last night...not a sex dream, but I walked into a dream version of Q's, she was there at a table, I walked up and gave her a hug and peck on the cheek. then we were sitting at the bar and I and one of the mop headed guys who works there were sitting on either side of her, all facing out, and we each had an arm around her. then he vanished and I was sitting there rubbing her leg (ok, maybe a little sexual). then the HassleFree Gypsy’s girlfriend Alex arrived on the scene, there was some conversation I forget, then DonutGirl and I were in the ladies' room and she was washing her hands, naked...except it was Evil Michelle's body instead of DG's (I guess since I never saw her (DG) naked...Doh!) as we were walking up the stairs that served as an exit from the ladies's room, a woman and two little girls walked in and one of the little girls said "Mommy there's a man in the ladies' room!" I turned my head and said, "That's right. Deal with it!" Up til then I hadn't realized it was the ladies's room. Then we went back to Q's where one of the employees had set out a plate of thin slice carrots and salmon, which we started eating. I looked over at Alex and (oh, DG was miraculously dressed by this point) said, "Hey, do you want some salmon?" and she said, "No thanks, I've already got my own plate of salmon" which I then noticed she was eating.

I don't remember much of anything after that, but I immediately woke up with a feeling like that of Major Briggs in Twin Peaks when he had the dream about his son Bobby, kind of a general (i.e. not specifically DG related) hopefulness and optimism. Of course that is fading as the Mayoral workday goes on.

Now here's the weird part. This woman got on the subway at Friendship Hts. this morning, and except for browner hair, a couple inches less height, and a slightly slighter build (DG leans toward the voluptuous, but in a good way), SHE WAS THE SPITTING IMAGE OF DonutGirl! I stared at her like the Equalizer staring into his drink until Cleveland Park, then I went over and asked her if they might have the same last name, and said how she was the spitting image of someone I used to know, but it turned out they were no relation and she was half Chinese.

Bethesda Avenue Business Links : Mayorspotting
Second Story Books
Quartermaine’s Coffee Roasters
Bethesda Crab House

Dylan and How He Got That Way
This is the proposed future site of my analysis of the Bob Dylan song "Where Are You Tonight (Journey Through Dark Heat)".

Photos - A Mayoral Album
The Dancing Baby
Beautiful Bethesda Avenue
The Mayor's Mobile Command Post
The Mayoral Residence
Can Cats Fly?
Mayoral Junkets
Friends & Enemies, uh, Worthy Opponents

Email The Mayor!
...with your own thoughts on dogcollars, Bethesda Avenue issues, etc.
Asian American girls with clunky silver jewelry strongly encouraged!